something i’ve been thinking about a lot lately- why isn’t my name “lunch?” it would be so great to be named after a meal. people would always be saying “let’s go have some lunch,” and i could always chuckle.

but more importantly, i wanna change my name to “lunch” to weed out giant corporate scams like the advertising group. i mean, would they really call a guy (or girl) named lunch (for work, not takeout). no, of course not. on my resume, i could put: only serious inquiries please. signed, lunch. that would surely weed out anything but the best of the best.

who am i kidding? with a name like “lunch” those companies would eat me up like, well, dinner (wink).

so, yeah, i (lunch, formally daniel) have been job hunting recently in la. and let me tell you there are a lot of scams out there, and you gotta know how to tell the difference. here’s how i do it: i go to these so called scam job interviews (and ace them by the way!), then work there for five or six weeks until i realize i haven’t been paid. that’s how i see if a job is a scam or not.

just kidding. so i got this “interview” for a place called the advertising group tomorrow (cross your fingers, guys!). it’s an obvious scam, but i want to go anyway. think of the experience! i hear that they make you interview in twos (that’s with another applicant you’re supposed to be competing against), then the hiring guy makes you drive him around places (running errands maybe?). after that, they make you go around (that day) selling products as a “test run.” then, after they supposedly weeded out all but four of the most qualifed applicants, you come back for a second interview. but guess what: they called everyone back! and there they are right in front of you!

here’s the real scam that comes later just so you know: they make you pay for everything, and at the end of the month you owe them just about as much money as you made.

in reality, i’m just going to blow them off and make them waste an hour or so. they’re looking mostly for stupid people. well, they won’t get this guy. nope, not lunch thompson.

so i’m still looking for a job. if anyone who reads this is hiring, i’ll gladly get up to bat. i’ll do whatever you want: get a base hit, hit a homer, get hit by a pitch? it’s your call, coach.

only serious inquiries please.

signed,
lunch