the bayside burglar at bloop

the bayside burglar

anthony February 9th, 2005 in famous people, work

apparently, mario lopez likes ribs… or steak… or chicken (bbq chicken)... or something with meat or potatoes in it because i saw “zack’s mexican friend” at tony roma’s tonight.

i wasn’t impressed at first. i merely thought, hey, just another handsome hispanic... until i realized who it was. finally. long after most people would’ve been able to figure it out. i guess i had trouble recognizing him because he wasn’t showing off the guns!

so, this is where our story begins…

after some back story! i’m trying to keep this hush-hush, but i actually work at tony roma’s. my job is to greet and seat people who come in, even though most of them aren’t famous.

anyway, after months of minor celebrity sightings that couldn’t compete with the ben afflecks and the dave “gruber” allens, it finally happens!

a.c. triumphantly enters and has that presence that makes you think, hey, just another handsome hispanic. i hold up two fingers and say, “two.” he responds with a “yes.” i tell him to follow me, and he does. we tango our way to the crappiest table in the restaurant, continuing to speak monosyllabically, until he requests a booth. unfortunately, there are no booths available.

long story short, mario lopez doesn’t have enough pull in hollywood to get a booth at tony roma’s.

later on, mario (who does not have a personal assistant) comes up and asks for a pen. trustingly, i hand him mine… and he fucking takes it!

the moral of the story is… DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, TRUST MARIO LOPEZ.

just for fun, here are some slater facts:

slater fact #1: mario lopez does not carry pens.

slater fact #2: mario lopez loooooves booths.

slater fact #3: mario lopez probably has a lengthy prison record.

slater fact #4: people only appreciate saved by the bell on an ironic level.

13 Responses to “the bayside burglar”

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1 anthony Feb 9th, 2005 at 12:45 am

...and, celia, i’m this close to getting my hands on that lock of lark voorhies’ hair that you wanted so badly.
2 Peter Feb 9th, 2005 at 11:36 am

you didn’t answer the question that is on the tip of everybody’s tongue! Was he with the ‘doritos girl’ or not?!
3 joey Feb 9th, 2005 at 5:16 pm

and if so, did you ask them about their terrible performance in the boston marathon?
4 celia Feb 9th, 2005 at 5:41 pm

anthony—thanks so much about that lock of hair…

you know, i’m planning on giving you a lock of hair as well.

from peter.

it’s red hair.

think about that.

-c
5 anthony Feb 9th, 2005 at 6:34 pm

thinking…
6 anthony Feb 10th, 2005 at 12:08 am

no, but he was with a guy who told everyone his name was “the dorito baron.”
7 joey Feb 10th, 2005 at 7:50 am

who doesn’t have some of peter’s hair clogging every drain in their house?
8 anthony Feb 10th, 2005 at 5:18 pm

women.
9 josh Feb 10th, 2005 at 9:58 pm

First off saved by the bell is awesome on many levels. Secondly fuck that guy for stealing tony’s pen. Lastly peter’s lovely locks are kick-ass and can clog my drain any time. If you know what I mean.
10 joey Feb 11th, 2005 at 1:25 pm

women!
11 josh Feb 11th, 2005 at 10:41 pm

suck it joey!
12 anthony Feb 12th, 2005 at 12:08 am

oh, i’ve already made my peace with mario lopez.
13 anthony Aug 22nd, 2007 at 11:12 pm

nevermind. no, i haven’t.

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