believe it or not, some people make a lot of money for doing absolutely nothing more than staying at home (well, define home) and commenting on the lives of famous people. therefore, the following are some of my comments on the lives of famous people. oh, in lightning round format. paycheck, please.

renee zellweger and kenny chesney splitting: i didn’t know they were married. who’s kenny chesney? bad start, next.

britney spears having a baby boy: he’ll be a diva… like his father.

john larroquette guest starring on “joey”: i’m psyched but less so than expected. i guess i’d rather see matt leblanc on “night court”.

new season of “the apprentice”: against it.

martha stewart’s “the apprentice”: for it.

matthew perry’s new muscles: what?

russell crowe hitting nestor estrada with a phone: duck!

matt damon getting engaged: [gay joke involving ben affleck].

kanye west criticizing george w. bush: obviously, kanye west can’t freestyle.

angelina jolie and brad pitt: bradgelina or pittlie, get it?

david spade getting a show where this is all he does: i bet he ends up just talking about himself.