to make a little extra scratch, i’ve started working as a delivery driver for the thai place down the street. working two jobs is tough, but those hospital bills ain’t gonna pay themselves! last night i was delivering a couple bucketfuls of yellow curry to a house up in the hills, and who should open up the door but AEROSMITH, one of the biggest bands in the biz! lucky for the internet they agreed to do an interview, right on the spot!

me: wow, it’s really an honor to talk with you.

aerosmith: there are supposed to be two orders of sticky rice.

me: great, guys. so tell me, what was it like working with alicia silverstone in those videos you guys did when i was in 6th grade?

aerosmith: she was a real sweetheart. actually, there’s a funny story-

me: OOH! remember that video game you guys did where you have a gun that shoots CDs instead of bullets? what was that called?

aerosmith: revolution-

me: REVOLUTION X: MUSIC IS THE WEAPON! i bet you guys play that shit all the fucking time!

aerosmith: well…

me: how often do you guys play that game?

aerosmith: it’s been a while, actually.

me: seriously, because if i were you guys i would spend at least a good 3 or 4 hours every day just playing that game.

aerosmith: what do we owe you for the food?

me: i assume you have an authentic arcade cabinet?

aerosmith: ...

me: yeah, i would probably rig that thing up for free play and just go to town on it.

aerosmith: well, we don’t want to keep you.

me: hey, has anyone ever actually made a gun that shoots CDs? i bet you guys would buy one, right?

aerosmith: just take this money and leave.

that’s about where my cassette recorder ran out of tape, but we had a blast the rest of the night.