daniel thompson knocks on a big, wooden door. he hears his boss, mr. prell…

prell: ah, come in, mr. thompson.

daniel: thank you for seeing me.

prell: let’s go. make it fucking snappy.

daniel: right. uhm, mr. prell, i’ve worked in this mailroom for, oh, over a year now, and i think i’ve been very dedicated to this company and that my being here has been very beneficial to you, uhm, personally. okay? what i’m saying is, i’d like, if possible, i’d like a raaaaaaaaaise.

prell: of sunshine.

daniel: what?

prell: nothing. cute outfit, by the way.

daniel: thanks.

prell: so, a raise? hmmm, a raise, a raise, a raise, a raise? let me work this out here on paper.

daniel: i was promised a raaaaaaaaise after six months, and that never materialized?

prell: last chance.

daniel: what?

prell: deal. sorry, danny boy, i had to take that phone call.

daniel: oh.

prell: you were saying?

daniel: i would like a raaaaaaaaise.

prell: before that?

daniel: i was silent.

prell: hmmm, a raise? isn’t there someone else you could ask about this? i’m right in the middle of lunch here.

daniel: uhm, you’ve already eaten?

prell: digesting, danny boy.

daniel: look, tom, i know you got to this position because you’re one of the best negotiators in the biz, but i’m begging you!

prell: don’t beg me, kid. do you have any idea who i am? i’m a monarch and a patriach and a patron saint and a diplomat and an ambassador and an aristocrat and a president and a limo driver all rolled into one! look at me! i’m a classy guy! and i’m one of the best negotiators in the biz! don’t come in here and insult me with your groveling.

daniel: i don’t mean to.

prell: just look at me! it’s casual friday, and this is a $3,000 suit!

daniel: i noticed the price tag.

prell: this suit and this watch could cover your raise. oh, is that what you want? the suit off my back?

daniel: if that’s your offer, yes.

prell: last chance.

daniel: i’ll take it.

prell: deal. wow, this belt’s a little tricky. hey, we should change “casual friday” to “naked friday.” what do you think?

daniel: i think i like that belt.