i don’t like the word “aloha.” in case you haven’t heard it a million times, aloha can mean both hello and goodbye. that has to be confusing, to have two opposing words come together like that. what i hate most is blah, blah, blah…

here’s a typical scenario:

vince is throwing a hawaiian-themed party while his parents are out of town. it’s supposed to be cool—a keg and a lot of girls are gonna be there. as carl approaches the party, he sees his friend, howard, walking out…

howard: aloha.
carl: bye.
howard: OH, I’M NOT LEAVING!

see what i’m saying?