about fifteen years ago, i was the world’s biggest l.a. law fan. like, i have a whole scrapbook of corbin bernsen autographs. this was back when i wanted to write for television, so clackity-clack of the keyboard and out comes this really brilliant fan fiction:

arnie becker and michael kuzak are waiting outside the building for someone.

michael kuzak: wow, that was a really tough case today.

arnie becker: yeah, it was. we sure did get the guy, though.

michael kuzak: he’ll be in jail for a long time.

arnie becker: let’s hope he doesn’t break out.

a handsome young man, anthony, bumps into michael kuzak.

anthony: sorry. i was in a hurry. i have very important financial business to attend to.

arnie becker: it’s no problem. oh, my god. anthony, is that you?

anthony: arnie becker? my oldest and dearest friend? how long has it been?

arnie becker: too long. are you still dating that supermodel?

anthony: which one?

arnie becker: which one!? this kid kills me!

michael kuzak: so, how did you two meet?

arnie becker: well, i don’t remember. i think i was working that major league case, and anthony approached me and told me what a huge fan he was of mine. we hit it off immediately and the rest is history.

michael kuzak: he seems like a swell guy.

anthony: hey, what are your plans tonight? you want to get some ice cream or something?

arnie becker: i’d love to.

michael kuzak: i can’t. the wife.

anthony: uh, oh! the ol’ ball and chain!

arnie becker explodes with laughter.

michael kuzak: you’re right. i’ll just blow her off and hang out with you. let’s just get in my car and take a road trip to redondo!

anthony: hooray!