what’s with that show “two and a half men” on, uh, abc? cbs? who does the title refer to? and how is it divided up?

is charlie the half? are they just simply saying that the kid is half of a man? i don’t understand. could charlie and jake both be ¾ of a man and jon cryer is the whole? or is it always fluctuating, but does so without altering the fact that the sum of their manliness is always equal to 2½? and who decided this? and is it as limiting as it seems?

maybe we’ll learn later on in the series that jon cryer is secretly half a man. or a woman like chris o’donnell. that would be great! i wouldn’t see that coming in a million years!

i remember when i posted this three and a half years ago (not really). i was so young, even though i honestly can’t say i know the answers to any of the questions now that i posed then. none of my predictions were accurate, either.

it makes you wonder if i was in the right place to be making decisions that would seriously affect the direction my life would take. maybe i shouldn’t have moved to los angeles. maybe i should’ve taken that job working at my father’s gas station. “full service, madam?” i could’ve been saying at least nine times a day. my hands would be discolored by now, as would my forehead from all the times i wiped the sweat from my brow, removing my cap before doing so.

mario lopez wouldn’t have stolen my pen, the goo goo dolls wouldn’t have depressed the hell out of me, chyna wouldn’t have pursed her lips and removed her glasses in my general direction, i never would’ve drunkenly insulted american idol’s constantine (allegedly), or tried to explain to the guy taking this picture that the sun was going to ruin it, or confused rob schneider with a homeless man, saw erik estrada and a dolphin, or texted joey that i was funnier than the shermanator (allegedly), harrassed greg behrendt and child in the cereal aisle (allegedly), or other things that don’t involve celebrities.

so a lot has happened since i’ve moved here, but the only sign of growth, the only glimmer of maturity, the only change i can see, the only difference between then and now, i think, is that i’ve stopped posting on this site.

and i am (was) proud of that.