FW: fyi guys i’m running for president
anthony March 19th, 2008 in bumper stickers, politics, presidency
come november, as i did in ‘04, i will be throwing my (pittsburgh) pirates hat into the ring and running for president of the united states. now, be aware, the only reason i’m running is to draw attention to some issues that i believe are important (and to discuss my personal problems with the world media). i know i can’t win. because no one would believe i’m actually thirty-five years old.
if they’d remove the age restriction (that was written way back when america was just a nascent democracy and young people were retarded), then, yes, i honestly think i could beat an old man, a black guy, and a woman in a contest to become the next president of the united states of america. TOPICA
my slogan/platform is pretty simple:
“america: land of the free bagels.”
so, let’s test me:
what do you plan to do about poverty? families without food?
free bagels.
how would you deal with the drug problem in america?
free bagels.
henry bagels is a well-known, unrepentant child molester who is about to be paroled. how do you feel about this?
free bagels.
what are you eating right now?
free bagels. this guy’s handing them out.
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finally a politician who isn’t full of shit.
would you like a free bagel?
I’m willing to be your running mate if the following demands are met:
1) free bagels
2) Outlaw coffee so people will stop talking about how they need it to not be an asshole and I can stop thinking, dude, you’re an asshole with or without it, asshole.
2a) Intern “coffee people.”
3) We should out-hooker Spitzer
4) another one
5) gime taco
I’m a good pick. Pick me.
you’re in. but i have to warn you, i, too, can be an asshole if i haven’t had my coffee.
Same here, bro.
fuk u guyz
:(
THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT I AM TALKING AB