remember when you asked me to write down my predictions for 2005 and put them in a time capsule to be opened in 2025? well, i dug it up already.

and my 2005 predictions were:

the white sox/astros will win their first world series since 1917/ever

global warming will heat the gulf of mexico to devastating [...]

why i shouldn’t have slashed your tires in a del taco parking lot:

i’ll post the answers friday morning. or afternoon. you know how i roll.

byron cole (stole your lunch money, then said, “keep the change”): busboy at bennagin’s. current romantic interest is wendy, the manager’s seventeen year-old daughter who occasionally flirts with him.

i should join a cult.

i don’t get it. i’m a nice guy. i treat women and pretty men with respect. so, why do the cashiers at the grocery store have to be so condescending when they tell me how much money i’ve saved by using my club card? i already know it saves me money. [...]

for the past four years, i’ve been happily filling out surveys given to me on the streets of los angeles.

denial

1. salinas, ecuador
2. isla salsipuedes, baja
3. santa cruz, california
4. waimea, hawaii
5. shark-infested waters

believe it or not, some people make a lot of money for doing absolutely nothing more than staying at home (well, define home) and commenting on the lives of famous people.