“guest bloggers” is a regular series featuring short essays from our famous friends.

oh my god you guys, the other day i was looking at my VAGINA and i decided that it was just so beautiful that i had to give it a name. i named it “little sarah” but believe me, calling it “little” [...]

on new year’s 1972, i watched a ball drop and discussed it on television.

on new year’s 1973, i watched a ball drop and discussed it on television.

on new year’s 1974, i watched a ball drop and discussed it on television.

on new year’s 1975, i watched a ball drop and discussed it on television.

on new year’s [...]

“guest bloggers” is a regular series featuring short essays from our famous friends.

hey guys, good to be back. (this is mr. seinfeld’s first appearance—ed.). so have you seen this new iPhone? i think we’re taking things a little too far now, don’t you? maybe? was there anyone out there who was [...]

what’s with that show “two and a half men” on, uh, abc? cbs? who does the title refer to? and how is it divided up?

is charlie the half? are they just simply saying that the kid is half of a man? i don’t understand. could charlie and jake both be ¾ of a man [...]

soylent green tea
gin & tombstone
gatoNRAde
the tab commandments
the omegarmeister
michael moore’s blood

so, like the title says, rob schneider’s e-mail was hacked recently, and, even though everyone thinks he did it on purpose to promote his new movie, i think god did it so that i could laugh really hard for a really long time. here are two of my favorites for right now:

Date: Mon, 12 [...]

from now on, when a guy has a boner for george clooney, it shall be called a “clooner.”

finally, an editor read one of my letters to him (or her!).

dear rachel mcadams,

(the first in a lengthy series of my job-related misadventures)