Archive for the 'lists' Category



the newsradio curse

so you hear a lot about the saturday night live curse, but what about the newsradio curse? here’s a list of people associated with the show and the tragedy that has befallen them.

phil hartman (murder/suicide – too soon)
maura tierney (cancer – too soon)
drake sather (suicide – too soon)
joe rogan (career suicide)
khandi alexander (morgue)
dave foley [...]

well it’s that time of year again and i figured what better way to use the first bloop post of 2009 than with my xmas wish list! here’s what i’m asking santa for:

Willenium CD
9/11 do-over
Y2K survival guide
cash
sega dreamcast
mental teleportation away from this awful, shitty decade to the carefree 90s
seriously, cash
(i’ll take whatever you can [...]

already too self-conscious
didn’t really “get” lord of the rings
does FUBU make dwarf-sized clothes?
waaaaaaay too tall

the san diego zoo (if i were a millionaire!)
burbank, ca (but just to visit)
bethesda, maryland (with nancy reagan)
shark-infested waters
chocolate city, usa
heaven (but just to visit)
the bathroom
topical
political
one more

“this foxworthy guy’s pretty funny. he should be a comedian.”
“hey, idiot, the answer’s 200!”
“bill clinton was a good president.”

soylent green tea
gin & tombstone
gatoNRAde
the tab commandments
the omegarmeister
michael moore’s blood

since text books are written by RICH WHITE MALES with a vested interest in the STATUS QUO, there’s all kinds of stuff they don’t teach you in american history class. well i’m here to blow the lid off this shit:

everybody loves raytaxes

well, it’s tax time, that annual ritual where we part with our hard-earned blood money to keep america running at peak efficiency! it may seem like everyone loves to hate tax season, but quite a few folks just plain love it:

them to make sure i’m dead

the harlem globetrotters to give my eulogy, stating that i was the greatest opponent they had ever faced

to be roasted by some of the assholes from the friars club

a stealth bomber to fly over my grave

nickelback to perform “how you remind me”

the police to catch the guy who did it

good [...]

while looking up the start time for the big usa vs mexico game on espn.com, i noticed that espn classics has a series where, well, this…

“Top 5 Reasons You Can’t Blame Bill Buckner For Red Sox Losing The 1986 World Series”

i think my list is probably better:

wade boggs kept him out late the night [...]



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