over the last few months, i’ve grown a couple moustaches, with varying degrees of success. they’ve been described with the following names:

the adam morrison
the adam morrison II
the “you should stay away from children with that moustache”
the mexican
the snoopy’s uncle
the “i didn’t even notice”
the bruno kirby (i’m the only person who uses this one)

and most [...]

is pretty awkward.

i’m gonna be honest here. i HATE giving back rubs. i HATE it.

received: 9/30/05 @ 6:52am
to: matt_lauer@todayshow.com
fr: al_roker@todayshow.com
re: last night’s happy hour

hey matt,

wow, who did lisa hart carroll have to sleep with to be in terms of endearment?

as i was walking home (or, as i like to call it, “driving with my legs”), i saw that semi-famous/infamous wrestler, chyna. it may have just been my inablility (i should probably get rid of “infamous” now that i’ve used “inability”) to differentiate between reality and fantasy, but i’m pretty sure she pulled down [...]

if you’ve been keeping up with the michael “shoeless joe” jackson case, you were probably surprised to hear about me testifying yesterday.

here’s how people are finding us:

i’m not the kind of guy that “keeps score” or brags about his sexual conquests, but after reading this article about a group of sociologists that….

i’m really upset about jennifer aniston and brad pitt’s breakup, but at least it’ll be nice to see the stocks rising now that they’re both on the market again.